My little Hack of a RPG System

It ain’t as cool as FUDGE, it ain’t as flexible as GURPS, it ain’t as well-used as D20. But it works well enough for a friendly game.


Eye (what number they have to roll under to hit something with a ranged or hand weapon) Gits (how many wounds they can take/have taken) Squirm (what number they have to roll under to avoid a wound)

General Classes: Classes determine what number the character has to roll above on a particular “roll the shit” roll.

Starting attribute ranges for classes
Foul Brute2D63D62D6
Sneaky Basturd2D62D63D6
Professor Doctor3D62D62D6

Genius at: Each character can be a “genius at” something starting out – just a general statement. The Power-that-be’s (GM) decides when it applies to a particular situation and allows and extra dice on the “roll the shit” roll.

Retard at: Each character must be a “retard at” something starting out. The Power-that-be’s (GM) decides when it applies to a particular situation and takes away a die on the “roll the shit” roll (if less than one dice, they get an automatic 1). If they pick a grandiose thing for their “genius at”, the “retard at” should be equally as grandiose.

Combat Each player picks a target and rolls against their Eye value with 3d6 for each weapon they have ready in their hand(s). If they roll under their eye attribute, they will hit the target (as long as it is within their weapon’s range) unless it squirms out of the way by rolling under its squirm value.

Note, if the player rolls an 3 or an 18, the role is considered “OHGODTHEHUMANITY”, and damage for the weapon is doubled after the roll.

Roll the Shit Rolls The PTB’s declare that the players need to “roll the shit” and names a number. At which time the players roll the dice, trying to score OVER the number, based on their class. A general guideline is below

FeatFoul BruteSneaky BasturdProfessor Doctor
Deducing or Detection1D62D63D6
Lifting or causing damage3D62D61D6
Avoiding detection by others1D63D62D6
Charming or convincing others1D62D63D6
Poisoned or Tortured3D61D62D6
Generally, things that require brute strength or stamina 3D62D61D6
Things that require intellect1D62D63D6
Things that require cunning or surreptitious action1D63D62D6

If it’s not possible to score over the number named by the PTB they automatically fail.

My little Hack of a RPG System

Pockyclypse Jeselvis